The next ti­me so­meo­ne su­gges­ts you take a die­ta­ry su­pple­men­t, or a plant or herb ex­trac­t, or te­lls you to ea­t, dri­nk, apply on your ski­n, inha­le, or do an­y­thing wi­th the ar­gu­ment that it's na­tu­ra­l, re­mem­ber this:

NA­TU­RE HA­TES YOU

Al­most eve­r­y­thing that co­mes from na­tu­re wi­ll ki­ll you. All ani­mals would pre­fer that you die, all plan­ts are to­xi­c, and it's on­ly th­rou­gh a long evo­lu­tio­na­ry pro­ce­ss that you are ba­re­ly ca­pa­ble of di­ges­ting any ve­ge­ta­ble­s.

The­re is a rea­son why we take as­pi­rin ins­tead of chewing ba­rk, and why we cook meat be­fo­re we eat it. Freaking po­ta­tos are to­xic if ea­ten raw.

Gi­ve parsley to a pa­rro­t, gi­ve cho­co­la­te to a do­g, gi­ve ce­le­ry to a ca­t, gi­ve he­m­lo­ck to you: DEA­D. Be­cau­se all around you is tr­ying to ki­ll you. All the ti­me.

Na­tu­re is not a mo­the­r, na­tu­re is ac­ti­ve­ly hos­ti­le to you and wi­ll be ha­ppy to make your li­fe as har­d, brief and pain­ful as po­s­si­ble. Man has chan­ged tha­t. Sa­ying "oh, but this is na­tu­ra­l" is an in­dic­t­men­t, a war­ning sig­n.

Raw foodis­ts, pa­leo diet ad­vo­ca­tes, her­ba­l-­su­pple­men­t-­chu­gger­s: you are all the be­ne­fi­cia­ries of a long his­to­ry of kno­wing what is se­mi-s­afe to eat be­cau­se eve­r­y­thing el­se wi­ll ki­ll you.

I wi­ll not eat an­y­thing na­tu­re gi­ves me un­til it has been ca­re­fu­lly tes­ted by men and scien­ce. Be­cau­se scien­ce is good and na­tu­re is evi­l.